1. The people that stop right in front of you in the grocery aisle to chat it up, taking up the entire aisle, forcing you to either interrupt their ill-timed walk down memory lane or turn around and take the long way around. Want to chat? Fine. Move your fat ass out of the way first.
2. Whoever invented recorded cold calls. Some of them are starting to sound impressively real. Still not OK.
3. People that park on the line taking up two spaces like they are some bomb-ass-boss, which they are highly unlikely to actually be.
4. Animal, children, and people abusers. Obviously.
5. People who decided on time-zone changes. You got the right idea Arizona!
6. Pushy salesmen that take the 'don't take no for an answer' routine WAY too far. If I'm forced to give you false contact info just so you'll leave me alone, you might wanna consider toning it down a little. My boyfriend and I got stalked in Slumberland yesterday by a salesman. It was like she thought we were somehow going to fit one of those overpriced mattresses in my tiny purse and walk out! We were both so overwhelmed we had to leave!
7. Micro-managers. I think I can manage answering the phone without your help. After all I've been successfully pulling it off for 6 months.
8. My boyfriend on many occasions. "Of course we have time for you to finish your beer before we go meet the realtor in 5 minutes across town." "Oh please? Can I really be your DD for the next 9 months?" "Would you like to just marry your 6 buckets of agates?" "Shut up. Do you want me to come over there and cuddle you?" (Yes that is an actual threat in my household when he's being a whiny baby on the couch.) The good news is we love each other and I have not actually punched him in the face ... yet.
9. People who can't take a joke. Seriously my family had to teach one of my little sisters that not everything is offensive. She would get so offended and hurt by every little joke you made. She cried a lot. Eventually she learned the concept of jokes and sarcasm.
10. Drunk fighters. I hate going out with these people. It's like a catch 22. You want to punch them in the face for being an intoxicated idiot but at the same time you don't because you know they're just being an intoxicated idiot.
11. People that are offended by everything! If I decorate my yard with Christmas, Halloween, etc decorations I expect you to mind your own damn business. You can appreciate my creative skills regardless of the holiday. I don't go around telling you what you can and cannot put up in your house or place of business. If a business wants to show some holiday spirit, so what? And what's so bad about being offended anyway? OK so you didn't like it. It's not going to kill you. You aren't going to die from some offensive disease. Being offended does not give you cooties.
12. Sad Facebook posters. You know, the people who post something depressing every few minutes, so it looks like their entire life is one giant funeral. So depressing.
13. Both Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump. I can not believe this is what America has come to.
14. Obsessive Snapchat junkies that send a million duck-face poses with highly uninteresting captions like, "hi!" "Just got up." "Going to work." "At work." "Leaving work."...
15. Druggies that are so high that they talk in slow motion and suddenly know the meaning of life and proceed to explain it to you. It is always the most illogical and ludicrous things you've probably ever heard but hey, "I'm totally more productive man." (It's usually pretty funny but often very annoying.)
Thanks for playing along!
Shay
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