Part 2
1. If pregnancy was a person, that bitch would definitely have been punched in the face by now. And before you freak out, I'm obviously not talking about the kid. It's like talking about Aunt Flow or you know what? I think you got it.
2. The next person to joyfully point out the fact that I now waddle.
3. People that say things like, "totes adorbs". Sets my gag reflex off.
4. People that joke about me not being able to drink. Oh yes that's super hilarious and I haven't heard a million of them already. Just wait 'til I tell you my new joke. The punchline is amazing ...
5. Parenting advice? Sure, I'd love to turn my kid into a selfish, disrespectful, materialistic, brat like yours.
6. Customers: "I spend a lot of money here! If you don't do this, I will take my business elsewhere!" You are not the only person who spends a lot of money here. You not coming back would't even make a dent in the books, but it would make us all very happy. Have a great day!
7. Fifty Shades of Grey. Ok so, props to the author for making beaucoup bucks on horrendous writing and even worse, glorifying abusive relationships. Deserves both a punch in the face and a World's Luckiest Author award.
8. Not to get all political, but all of these Black Lives Matter protesters. Look around you! If they matter so much why are they standing in the middle of busy freeways?? I just don't understand what that is supposed to achieve. Killing people, looting, rioting what does that prove? That your lives are more important than others? That you're superior? I respect those that stand up for what they believe in. I'm not saying you're totally wrong. I'm saying you're going about it all wrong and for that you deserve a punch in the face. Get it together people. We're all human!
Alright that's all I can muster for today. Until next time.
Stay classy my friends.
Shay
